1. Everything I have done has lead to here. And here I am. What is the point of having regrets? Sure, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but those mistakes are a part of me now. The only time you are allowed to have regrets is when you realize you have more of a past than you do of a future. And that is extremely rare.

2. Who cares what other people think. We spend too much time worrying about what other people think instead of just enjoying life. The only person you can control is yourself, and there is always someone who will think differently. So don’t worry about who likes coffee and who likes tea, just like what you like.

3. Jealousy is a waste of time. If you can stop caring what other people think of you, then you will be liberated from jealousy of them.

4. Love isn’t enough. We have to show people that we love them through our actions. Give your time and attention to things that you love.

5. Self control. Everything is okay to have in moderation. But self control is not a matter of discipline, it’s a matter of habit.

6. Purple looks good on everyone. It’s true.

7. Stuff won’t make you happy. It just takes more of your time away from you. It detracts from the important things in life.

8. Money won’t make you happy. But it will help you to help others. Use your money for the right things and not to consume more crap that you don’t need.

9. Many pursuits are fruitless. Multitasking at work and having multiple hobbies at home prevents us from being able to focus on what is really important. That one important project that could change the world. Our family time is exchanged for a hobby. Focus on what is really important to you and get rid of everything else.

10. Success is a matter of perspective. Some people think having $1 million dollars makes you successful. For some it’s a house. And still for some it’s a quality education, or a big family, or a corporate management job. Then there are people that want only what they need to get by, or just simple happiness. The only real success is the positive impact you have on other people, and the minimal impact you have on your environment, all while achieving your definition of success.

11. Some pleasures are guiltless. I’ve got a pair of Louis Vuitton sandals that I have had for six years now. I wear them almost everyday and they still look brand new. I’ll be able to keep them for at least another six years. As a minimalist, I buy only what I need and nothing more. But if I am going to buy one item and keep it for a long time, I am going to buy super-high quality.

12. Compassion is the purpose of life.  “There was a man, they called him mad. The more he gave, the more he had.” That famous quote by John Bunyan was repeated to me by my Mom many times growing up. It just took me a while to realize that Bunyan was right.

13. Memories trump souvenirs. We don’t really need souvenirs. It’s all a marketing gimmick. It gets you to buy more stuff that you don’t really need. Spend your money on the experience, not the stuff. People visit Hawai’i for the beach sand and crystal blue water, not for the “Haoli Boi” t-shirt. If you need the shirt to remind you of Hawai’i, just buy the shirt online and skip the trip. It’s cheaper and you get the same memory.

14. Everyone worships something. Everyone defines for themselves their own little piece of heaven on earth, and if only you had those things you would be happy. It’s just a lie that you have told yourself. Every time you get what you want, you decide you want something else. Figure out what you are giving all your time, money, and attention to, and make sure it’s worth it.

15. I haven’t figured it all out yet. Nobody has.

16. The most important skill to develop is habit creation. Good habits. You don’t have to be a disciplined person if you have good habits. You won’t need make lists to get things done if you have good habits. You’ll never have to go on a diet if you have good habits. Start small, very small, and go from there.

17. The things you own end up owning you. It’s a classic quote from Palhaniuk’s book “Fight Club”. Unchecked consumerism is dangerous. The more stuff you own, the more time you have to spend caring for that stuff, and it keeps costing more and taking more from you.

18. Bring the pain. If you are going to take the time to exercise make sure it is quality. Don’t be afraid to bring the pain on yourself. Otherwise your are just wasting your time, which is an entirely different unhealthy habit.

19. Food is the best medicine. If you are unhealthy it’s probably because your diet is unhealthy.

20. The past does not equal the future. You do not have to repeat it. But can’t change it or take it back. That’s why you have to focus on being present in every moment, and make conscious decisions on how you spend your time.

21. Don’t waste your time or allow it to be wasted. If a friend asks you for $50 many people would have to think about it before digging into their pocket. But if a friend asks you to spend an hour helping them you wouldn’t have to think twice about it. Time is our only limited resource. Whatever you use it for do it to the best of your ability.

22. Take responsibility. It’s easier to just admit something and take responsibility than to try to tap-dance around it. Once you start taking responsibility you’ll make less mistakes.

23. Risk, fail, adjust, repeat. That’s how we discover new things.

24. Live without limits. Do the things you never thought you would. It will make you a better person.

25. Kindness begins at home. How you act at home really will be the way you treat the rest of the world. Do you wake up and make your bed every morning? Do you put stuff back where it belongs when you are done with it? Do you say please and thank you? If you don’t take care of yourself and others around you at home, why would you do it anywhere else?

26. Sleep is not a luxury. In my line of work it is not unusual to go for tens of hours, and sometimes for up to several days without sleep. Rest should be nurtured and practiced and not seen as a  chore.

27. Never compromise on your needs. There are a few things in our life that we really do need. Food, clothes, shelter, love. Don’t compromise on these things. Don’t teach your kids that food comes from a box; get quality produce. You don’t need a massive wardrobe, just get a few quality things that meet your needs. Don’t live in a trailer so you can afford a really nice car. It’s not fair to your or your family or housemates. What you don’t need is the car. Lastly, if you are looking for love, then looks for it. Don’t take advantage of other people. If you have love, nurture it and make it the best.

28. Learn to let go. As you learn to let go of needing “stuff” you’ll also learn to let go of control. You can’t control everything, but you can control how you react to everything that happens in your life. Let go of that need to control and focus your energy and something important.

29. If you don’t tell someone, they won’t know. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. Say hello when you pass someone on the street. Let the people in your life know what’s up.

30. You already know the answer. There is nothing wrong with getting advice from someone, but there is no need to rely on someone else to make your decisions for you. You have to trust yourself that you know what to do, and do it.

It was exactly the opposite of what we do. Forrest took things slowly from the beginning. He took advantage of his limitations and was still able to achieve great things.

We start out running, making lists, rushing around the office or workplace, and rushing to and from work. We think to ourselves that if only we were at our destination we would be more productive. Forrest took life slow and just needed to run for a little bit. We take life too fast and we need to just walk for a while.

Rushing causes unnecessary problems in our lives. We kill people with our cars; driving too fast is the number one cause of car accidents. We make decisions hastily leading to mistakes. We aren’t mindful, we don’t use our full capacity, and we make mistakes because we didn’t see the problem coming right at us. We cause great harm to ourselves and others.

Rushing also causes stress on others. If I try to rush my family out the door so we won’t be late I cause unneeded stress on everyone. When I rush at work my coworkers feel more rushed themselves.

Take the time that Forrest took to run, and slow down. Drive slower, eat slower, be mindful, and think about the people around you. Living slower means removing the unecessary. Get rid of unnecessary plans and stop setting unnecessary goals. Use the added breathing room to add new, healthy habits. It takes time. But that is why we are walking.

How does it work? Well, it begins by making a conscious effort to say “hello” to everyone you pass. If someone is too far away to hear your greeting, simply put your hand up and wave. You have now gone from no connection to a very simple phatic human engagement. You can take it a step further by making what is called a factual connection. This is simply an exchange of facts about each other, such as “I am from Hawai’i.” or “Where do you work?”.

Most people want to engage with others, they just don’t know how to. American culture believes that you cannot show yourself to be vulnerable. It’s a shame. We all walk around trying to show our status over each other by letting our jeans speak for us rather than actually engaging, or being charming and attractive. The truth is people don’t care about what jeans you are wearing, they are more worried about you seeing what jeans they are wearing. Simply saying “hello” makes both people vulnerable. It communicates simply and effectively that we are all the same regardless of our differences in appearance or opinion.

“There was a man, and they called him mad; the more he gave, the more he had.” – John bunyon

That quote from John Bunyon was often repeated to me by my mother when I was growing up. And yet I still grew up thinking as culture had taught me, that my success was measured by my possessions. I believed in the big lie: Life is all about me. But slowly I began to realize that there is so much more to life than what you own and can hold onto.

You, too, have been lied to. You were told that if you just worked hard enough and earned enough that you would be happy. Then you would get your reward and you could start living. As a result we often feel empty, never satisfied. Always looking for the next thing that will make us feel happy. But it never lasts.

I’m still tempted by consumerist ideals and I still desire to have the latest and greatest. It’s my own cultural war to fight against myself. But I’m learning that the finer things in life cannot be purchased. The more you give your life away, the more you’ll find it.

Living generously is not easy and it doesn’t come naturally. But it is how we were created to live. It’s the only way that we can find the satisfaction we have been searching for. You don’t need a bridge, and monument, or a big bank account to leave a legacy that will give your life meaning. Your life has meaning now to those whom you serve, in your generosity.

So what are you waiting for? Go be generous! Here are a few ideas to get you started:

• Allow yourself to be interrupted.
• Do something nice for your neighbors. Give them a basket of fruit, pick up their newspaper, or take their trash to the street for them.
• Go through your cloths and donate anything you have not worn in the last 60 days (or 90, or year, or whatever).
• Make a donation to a nonprofit.
• Focus on the giving, not the getting.

Treat people as though they have already achieved the greatness they are searching for. We are all great, and we don’t need stuff to prove it. Remember the golden rule by reminding yourself everyday of the generosity you want to feel. Be generous, enjoy life, and live humble.

Instead of prejudging someone by their circumstances in life, try to recognize what you have in common. We all have the same basic needs at the core: food, shelter, safety, a sense of belonging. Then offer whatever assistance you can. We all have something we can give. It doesn’t need to be physical or financial. Give a simple smile or a kind word, offer to do an errand or a chore, or just try to empathize and be understanding.

I often find myself traveling for work. When that traveling involves a road trip it is inevitable that I will come across someone holding up a “need help” sign at an intersection. I like to keep some dollar coins and bottled water in my rental. Dollar coins are not seen in circulation very often. Something about dropping a couple of dollar coins in someone’s hand seems to bring a smile to their face. They are fun to spend and fun to give as gifts. I give three things to everyone that asks: a dollar coin, a bottle of water, and a smile. I don’t judge and I don’t do it to make myself feel good. I do it because I have the means to, and that means I should.

Let go of your need to decide who deserves what. Instead of thinking, analyzing, and judging, just give what you can. You are not making a big life decision that will effect you the rest of your life, you’re just giving someone the change in your pocket or a bottle of water. There is no need to put so much pressure on yourself. Your gift is not going to make someone an alcoholic or keep them living in the streets. If you can help, you should.

Next time you have the opportunity to help someone, take some time later to reflect on what you did and why. Did you help at all or just say sorry and walk away? Were you honest? What did you have in common? What else can you offer next time? When you change how you think about people, you’ll change your habits toward them.

This New Year’s Day I want to hunt the good stuff from the previous year. I like to keep track of a few small details as each year passes. It’s a good way to reflect on a year to see where you went, what you did, and what you enjoyed.

States Visited

2011 was a big year for traveling. Not just for work, but also for pleasure. Two particular trips stand out. The first was a family trip to Kansas City, MO for a short vacation. It’s where we had our most memorable meal and our most memorable moment. Second was another family trip to the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha, NE. We took all back roads on the way to Omaha and the experience was fantastic. When you see miles and miles of farmland in far off remote locations you gain a respect not only for the people that work the land, but for the land itself. In Hawai’i it is believed that the people are part of the ‘aina, or land, and that the ‘aina should be cared for as a family member. I don’t believe it is any different anywhere else in the world.

Kansas
Georgia
North Carolina
Arizona
Texas
New Mexico
Oklahoma
Missouri
Alabama
Nebraska

Books Read

I had the opportunity to read some great books this year. This is only a partial list as I am sure there a few that I am not recalling right now. If I had to make a recommendation it would be Carte Blanch for fiction and Focus for nonfiction(there is a free and a premium version). Click would be a close runner-up.

Focus by Leo Babauta
The Proper Care & Feeding of Marriage by Laura Schlessinger
KIA by Thomas Holland
400 Photographs by Ansel Adams
Inside Steve’s Brain by Leander Khaney
1491 by Felipe Fernandez-Armesto
Thwarting Enemies at Home by William R. Johnson
Lost Light Michael by Connelly
The Reversal Michael by Connelly
Second Son by Lee Child
Afghanistan by Stephen Tanner
Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson
Carte Blanch by Jeffery Deaver
Click by Ori & Rom Brafman
Descent Into Chaos by Ahmed Rahid

Best Dish

I made a simple rigatoni pasta salad with jarred artichoke hearts, fresh parmesan cheese, and olive oil that turned out spectacular once marinated for a few hours.

Best Meal

Hawai’ian Poke and sweet potato fries with a pumpkin spice beer at the Yard House in Kansas City. Poke is a raw fish salad, usually made with ‘ahi (yellowfin tuna), shoyu, sesami seed oil, and limu. I was shocked to have had such an incredible version in a landlocked state in the middle of the United States. And the bacon aioli that was served with the sweet potato fries was incredible.

Most Memorable Moment

During a short family trip to Kansas City we spontaneously decided to visit a Cabela’s sports store. It turned out that the Cabela’s had one of the largest collections of taxidermy deer and trophy animals on display in their Whitetail Museum. It was an incredible experience to see so many of these beautiful animals in one place and to be educated on their history, habitat, and numbers.

So instead of creating resolutions or setting goals, I decided to make a simple list of daily habits for the year. It’s not a checklist and not something I need to worry myself about accomplishing every day, it’s simply a list of habits to help me stay focused. Most of these habits I already do and want to continue (I workout five days a week). Others, such as writing every day, I would like to do as a new habit.

• live healthy every day
• eat healthy foods at every meal
• exercise at least four times per week
• talk to everyone I pass and engage with people every day
• contribute to others in a meaningful way every day
• write every day
• read every day
• listen to music every day
• be grateful and thankful every day
• enjoy my life every day
• live in the moment

You’ll notice that none of the habits have set criteria to accomplish. I didn’t list “run a marathon” because it is too goal oriented, and once completed it could be checked off and dismissed. Habits are ongoing, and my own creativity and motivation determine how I accomplish things. I can always be excited about what I am doing.

I would encourage you to come up with your own list of new habits. If you can’t come up with a list, just come up with one thing, or half of one thing. Just take a little time and think about how you can create, share, and enjoy life with other people. But don’t make it mandatory or you will just feel guilty when you fall of track. Instead, rely on the motivation you already have to enjoy life.

But I still had stress in my life. I felt like I was lacking something and didn’t realize that I was lacking nothing. I was too consumed with doing and having more. The things I owned ended up owning me (thanks, Palahniuk). It was time to take back my life. It was time to reduce what I owned and learn to enjoy what I already had. I suddenly realized that I didn’t need to fill my life with stuff, I need to fill my life with experiences.

This site became a way to document what I learn along the way. I’m not looking for a complete lifestyle change. I don’t want to own just 100 things. I don’t want to pretend to live in volunteer poverty to make myself feel better. I’m not giving up red meat, and I like having nice things. But I am disgusted with rampant consumerism. The things I own make life better, but they don’t define me as a person. I want a jacket to keep me warm, not to say anything about me. I don’t want to be judged by my jacket. But if I am only going to own one jacket, it’s going to be a really nice jacket.

I only want to have what I can use regularly and can maintain without stress. I want to steward what I have so that I can help others. I want to engage with the people around me. Basically, I want to live a meaningful life with less stuff, more creating, more giving, and more appreciation for the experiences around me everyday. I want to enjoy life and live humble.

Living minimal is about living wise, not about volunteer poverty. It’s perfectly okay to buy nice things. You just have to know when you have enough. I can buy a nice pair of shoes and keep them for years (I have been wearing the same pair of Louis Vuitton sandals for nearly six years, they’re my only pair), or I can buy something cheap over and over, probably almost monthly. I buy things to meet a need, and I use that to my advantage by knowing what I want. I don’t feel the need to have the latest trends and styles because I don’t buy things to impress anyone else or to show off what I can afford. I buy quality because I know it will last if I take care of it.

The minimalist mindset isn’t that consumerist need to vainly buy stuff, it’s knowing what you want and when you have enough. There is no shame in buying designer shoes or nice handbags. There is shame in owning five of them. That’s because you don’t need them, and it’s impossible to argue that you do. It is especially a shame to acquire debt in exchange for such reckless extravagance.

At the end of my life I don’t want to leave a legacy of ownership for my family to go through and sort out, likely selling it all off as meaningless trash so they can get things that they need. I want to leave as little impact as possible on earth, as big an impact as possible on humanity, and a family well prepared for whatever their needs may be.

My to-do lists were effective in helping me manage my time by allowing me to see what had to be accomplished in a given time period. But they were also short-sighted. To be enthusiastic and have impact, I had to do more than just “get things done”. So, instead of just managing your time, I think the highest leverage thing you can do is manage your intent. What are you focused on right now? Are you enthusiastic or lackluster?

You can do something to get things done. Or you can do something because it furthers a bigger vision. When you keep your vision in mind, you have context. You’re focused on the reason why you’re doing it in the first place.

Just getting things done is a meaningless pursuit for a professional. After all, there will always be more things to “get done” (you only stop getting things done when you’re dead). But, when you’re fueled by a purpose that stays in the forefront of your consciousness, that’s when your actions move into a higher level of impact.

• You create change, and stop just checking things off a list.
• You build a legacy, and stop getting sucked into the minutiae.
• You have a sense of meaning, rather than a disjointed series of tasks.

Here is what you should do if you are ready to move beyond “getting things done”. Manage your intent, and allow your intent to manage your time. Focus on one thing at a time and how what you do impacts the big picture. Everyone who works for you can check-off to-do lists until they are given the responsibility to make professional decisions.