Today I turned 30 years old. As a bit of an introspective exercise, I decided to figure out what life lessons I’ve learned so far, which also tells me why I think the way I do.

1. Everything I have done has lead to here. And here I am. What is the point of having regrets? Sure, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but those mistakes are a part of me now. The only time you are allowed to have regrets is when you realize you have more of a past than you do of a future. And that is extremely rare.

2. Who cares what other people think. We spend too much time worrying about what other people think instead of just enjoying life. The only person you can control is yourself, and there is always someone who will think differently. So don’t worry about who likes coffee and who likes tea, just like what you like.

3. Jealousy is a waste of time. If you can stop caring what other people think of you, then you will be liberated from jealousy of them.

4. Love isn’t enough. We have to show people that we love them through our actions. Give your time and attention to things that you love.

5. Self control. Everything is okay to have in moderation. But self control is not a matter of discipline, it’s a matter of habit.

6. Purple looks good on everyone. It’s true.

7. Stuff won’t make you happy. It just takes more of your time away from you. It detracts from the important things in life.

8. Money won’t make you happy. But it will help you to help others. Use your money for the right things and not to consume more crap that you don’t need.

9. Many pursuits are fruitless. Multitasking at work and having multiple hobbies at home prevents us from being able to focus on what is really important. That one important project that could change the world. Our family time is exchanged for a hobby. Focus on what is really important to you and get rid of everything else.

10. Success is a matter of perspective. Some people think having $1 million dollars makes you successful. For some it’s a house. And still for some it’s a quality education, or a big family, or a corporate management job. Then there are people that want only what they need to get by, or just simple happiness. The only real success is the positive impact you have on other people, and the minimal impact you have on your environment, all while achieving your definition of success.

11. Some pleasures are guiltless. I’ve got a pair of Louis Vuitton sandals that I have had for six years now. I wear them almost everyday and they still look brand new. I’ll be able to keep them for at least another six years. As a minimalist, I buy only what I need and nothing more. But if I am going to buy one item and keep it for a long time, I am going to buy super-high quality.

12. Compassion is the purpose of life.  “There was a man, they called him mad. The more he gave, the more he had.” That famous quote by John Bunyan was repeated to me by my Mom many times growing up. It just took me a while to realize that Bunyan was right.

13. Memories trump souvenirs. We don’t really need souvenirs. It’s all a marketing gimmick. It gets you to buy more stuff that you don’t really need. Spend your money on the experience, not the stuff. People visit Hawai’i for the beach sand and crystal blue water, not for the “Haoli Boi” t-shirt. If you need the shirt to remind you of Hawai’i, just buy the shirt online and skip the trip. It’s cheaper and you get the same memory.

14. Everyone worships something. Everyone defines for themselves their own little piece of heaven on earth, and if only you had those things you would be happy. It’s just a lie that you have told yourself. Every time you get what you want, you decide you want something else. Figure out what you are giving all your time, money, and attention to, and make sure it’s worth it.

15. I haven’t figured it all out yet. Nobody has.

16. The most important skill to develop is habit creation. Good habits. You don’t have to be a disciplined person if you have good habits. You won’t need make lists to get things done if you have good habits. You’ll never have to go on a diet if you have good habits. Start small, very small, and go from there.

17. The things you own end up owning you. It’s a classic quote from Palhaniuk’s book “Fight Club”. Unchecked consumerism is dangerous. The more stuff you own, the more time you have to spend caring for that stuff, and it keeps costing more and taking more from you.

18. Bring the pain. If you are going to take the time to exercise make sure it is quality. Don’t be afraid to bring the pain on yourself. Otherwise your are just wasting your time, which is an entirely different unhealthy habit.

19. Food is the best medicine. If you are unhealthy it’s probably because your diet is unhealthy.

20. The past does not equal the future. You do not have to repeat it. But can’t change it or take it back. That’s why you have to focus on being present in every moment, and make conscious decisions on how you spend your time.

21. Don’t waste your time or allow it to be wasted. If a friend asks you for $50 many people would have to think about it before digging into their pocket. But if a friend asks you to spend an hour helping them you wouldn’t have to think twice about it. Time is our only limited resource. Whatever you use it for do it to the best of your ability.

22. Take responsibility. It’s easier to just admit something and take responsibility than to try to tap-dance around it. Once you start taking responsibility you’ll make less mistakes.

23. Risk, fail, adjust, repeat. That’s how we discover new things.

24. Live without limits. Do the things you never thought you would. It will make you a better person.

25. Kindness begins at home. How you act at home really will be the way you treat the rest of the world. Do you wake up and make your bed every morning? Do you put stuff back where it belongs when you are done with it? Do you say please and thank you? If you don’t take care of yourself and others around you at home, why would you do it anywhere else?

26. Sleep is not a luxury. In my line of work it is not unusual to go for tens of hours, and sometimes for up to several days without sleep. Rest should be nurtured and practiced and not seen as a  chore.

27. Never compromise on your needs. There are a few things in our life that we really do need. Food, clothes, shelter, love. Don’t compromise on these things. Don’t teach your kids that food comes from a box; get quality produce. You don’t need a massive wardrobe, just get a few quality things that meet your needs. Don’t live in a trailer so you can afford a really nice car. It’s not fair to your or your family or housemates. What you don’t need is the car. Lastly, if you are looking for love, then looks for it. Don’t take advantage of other people. If you have love, nurture it and make it the best.

28. Learn to let go. As you learn to let go of needing “stuff” you’ll also learn to let go of control. You can’t control everything, but you can control how you react to everything that happens in your life. Let go of that need to control and focus your energy and something important.

29. If you don’t tell someone, they won’t know. Don’t be afraid to talk to people. Say hello when you pass someone on the street. Let the people in your life know what’s up.

30. You already know the answer. There is nothing wrong with getting advice from someone, but there is no need to rely on someone else to make your decisions for you. You have to trust yourself that you know what to do, and do it.