Never walk by without looking someone in the eye, smiling, and giving the greeting of the day. It’s a simple act of kindness. And yet these low-level, phatic, connections with people are becoming less common place. People have become afraid to look each other in the eye and make a human-level connection. A majority of the time when I walk by someone they look the other direction and avoid contact. The good news is that this new norm makes it easier for those of us that want to connect with people everyday.

How does it work? Well, it begins by making a conscious effort to say “hello” to everyone you pass. If someone is too far away to hear your greeting, simply put your hand up and wave. You have now gone from no connection to a very simple phatic human engagement. You can take it a step further by making what is called a factual connection. This is simply an exchange of facts about each other, such as “I am from Hawai’i.” or “Where do you work?”.

Most people want to engage with others, they just don’t know how to. American culture believes that you cannot show yourself to be vulnerable. It’s a shame. We all walk around trying to show our status over each other by letting our jeans speak for us rather than actually engaging, or being charming and attractive. The truth is people don’t care about what jeans you are wearing, they are more worried about you seeing what jeans they are wearing. Simply saying “hello” makes both people vulnerable. It communicates simply and effectively that we are all the same regardless of our differences in appearance or opinion.